Here is the overview:
We began by sitting in a family circle on the floor holding hands and briefly reviewing one of my favorite aspects of family unity that we refer to on a frequent basis: We are a "We Team" not a "Me Team". Then I asked everyone who ever gets angry, or frustrated to raise their hand. So how does our anger affect others?
I had a shoe box with several "secret" items in it that I started to pull out one at a time. The first was a frozen ice pack. I went around the circle and touched the back of everyone's neck with it so they could feel how cold and uncomfortable it was. This is how it feels to others when we use unkind words. The next object was a sewing pin. I asked Miriam to go around the circle and poke everyone with it. She looked at me with obvious concern: "Do I have to?" No, but this is what it feels like when we criticize each other, or look for the wrong things the other family members are doing, instead of the right. The pain is significantly amplified when critical words are used regularly. The last was a lighter. The flame sent the kids jumping backwards. These are our words of anger, and complaint. When once the spirit of whining is lit, it is hard to put out the fire that spreads and rages.
How does Jesus want us to treat each other?
Ephesians 4:31 & 32 (This whole chapter is excellent if you have older kids who can sit still long enought to listen and discuss).
So how do we stop the mean words from coming out?
We practice.
James 3:3 (Again a very excellent chapter-but we "hunnit" only with the verse.
We used on of the kids stick horses to illustrate the purpose of the bridle, and talked about bridling our tongues--even if it means biting back the words.
We also pointed out who puts the angry words into our heads/hearts. And again referring to a prior fhe lesson....we "STOP" and "THINK". And we are adding "PRACTICE".
Another key point is that we ask Jesus to take away the angry words or feelings we can't get rid of ourselves.
Then we went back to the shoe box to see how kind words feel.
First was a feather. We had lots of smiles and giggles with this one. This is Praise and Encouragement. It just makes you feel all tickly and happy inside. And we combined the last two into one: a microfleece blanket and hugs. Everyone was wrapped inside a super soft, warm, cozy blanket hug, and told something nice. This is Love and Gratitude.
So we used "listening" and "hands on", and I wanted to add a "visual" learning tool to solidify the principle for us all. On the white board, I wrote the negative words on one side: Anger, Criticism, Whining, Complaining, and the kind words on the other: Gratitude, Praise, Encouragement, Love. Then everyone got to take a turn with the marker and X out the negative side and put a heart around the kind side. It was a good outward show of our inward commitment to invite a more kind and loving spirit into our home. I saw lots of smiles on faces as I looked aroung the circle and bore testimony of the truth of the principle of Kind Words.
*****
I don't know if any of you are like us. Blair and I try to discuss what our family needs for a lesson the week before, but we usually end up coming up with something the day of fhe. This time I knew what I wanted it to be about early in the week, and throughout the week, the ideas for presentation were changed and refined, until the night before (Believe me, I'm not usually thinking about FHE on Saturday night), and I think because I was thinking about it, I was given to know what the most effective way of teaching this would be.And the ironic thing is that I began thinking about how much my children needed to hear this, and by the end of the week, I knew it was me who needed it the most. The remarkable part is that it really has made it easier for me to see how the tone I use with my words may be affecting my children, and to stop it before it flies out of my frustrated mouth.
If you're in a pinch for a fun lesson, or you think this would benefit your family, please feel free to use this idea. The gifts of the Spirit are given freely to all. :)
